Archive for May, 2008

Switch Hitters
May 29, 2008

?Hi….I?m a Mac. I used to be a PC. Man, those were dark times?
-Christopher Corey

I stopped using the windows platform altogether, just a few months ago. Let me preface this by saying, my feelings for a certain brand of whatever over another is NOT a personal slam against someone who uses whatever they use. That type of lame judgmental bullshit is so high school. It is also the sign of someone really shallow. Finally, my opinions come from a poor man?s perspective as well. I?m not judging anyone who would want, but cannot afford. Judging a human being based on their financial abilities shows a true poverty of the soul. Any one of could lose it all, any day. You will only get my Mac computers, though, over my cold dead body. Then, you can be pretty sure that I will haunt your ass. Yes, it is true, I am one of them types.
I purchased my first personal computer about 4 years ago. I learned my basic computing skills in school, however, there was not much to do on the internet back then. Through out most of my twenties, I had no need for a …Pooter, as I call them. I associated computers with work, and writers can use almost anything to write.
I?m going to be honest about my initial reason for getting a Poot, in the first place. Yes, there were more things I could do with one, by this point. Also, more and more people I knew were using them for entertainment purposes. I?m not a gamer, but this had nothing to do with games. I found a really cool Kenneth Cole computer bag. I bought the bag first, and the computer second.
I never considered a Mac, mainly, because I did not know anyone who used one. I knew what they were, but they were like Pepsi, and Microsoft based machines were like Coke. I bought a Dell Inspirion %#& (I can?t remember the number). I can tell you it was the heaviest laptop ever made, it was gray, it was…..boring… hell. Whatever, I had a computer, I didn?t feel like a Pooterless loser anymore. I immediately hooked it up to the internet, watched a couple of Madonna videos, shut it down, and put it back in the box. A year went by, before I turned it on again.
I felt guilty about never using it, I used to suffer horribly from buyers remorse, something Steve Jobs has since cured me of, Thanks be to Steve! One night, I was talking to a girl in Chicago, she brought up the subject of Myspace. She told me it would be a great way to keep in touch. I checked it out on my poot, only to check it again out everyday for the next three years. After checking the site out, I say, AVOID AT ALL COSTS, there are way more things to be doing with your time. It is wall to wall children and lame ass adults. You might say, the internet has no walls. My response is Myspace does.
In the three years I used my Dell inspirion random character, the hard drive crashed a year in, the monitor came off its hinges in the last year, and the optical drive broke in the first month. The Dell Support team is located in beautiful and clean India. A place, although not the United States, where the people have names like Susan and Tom. Their ?names? will be the only thing you will understand them say. You might get exasperated and angry with them, they will continue to take it from you, because they don?t know what you are saying either. When I ordered the machine on my phone, the sales girl was a bubbly, presumably blond (yet, technically savvy), American. She explained how badass Dell computers are, and she totally hooked me up with a Dell printer, for Free! After they received my money, my concerns were outsourced to India. Fuck Dell.
decided that I needed a new computer, a long time before I actually got one. Ya see, the iPhone had come out by Apple at this time. I had an MP3 player, but I had always wanted an iPod instead. I began to salivate over the iPhone. It was so damn sexy, with that aluminum back and toucha toucha touch screen. When the price dropped from $600- $400, it suddenly seemed reasonable, which is weird because I had never spent over a $100 for a phone before. I got the iPhone, and what do you know, the buyers remorse went away. I was happy with my new companion, and I wouldn?t have traded it for the world. The one thing I loved the most, was the interface, and the sleek and easy way it worked. Whenever I used my PC, I wished it was more like my phone.
During this time, I was madly in love with someone. The sad fact was that it was not returned. As this slowly began to dawn on me, I thought, What do I want most in the world (besides this person)? A new computer, maybe? I turned on the TV, and their was this scruffy middle aged white man, in a ridiculous black mock turtle neck, holding the slimmest laptop ever made. Ooh, ooh! I want that.
I went to the Apple store as soon as possible, I knew how difficult heart ache was going to be. I knew the only thing I could do to keep from going crazy, was begin to obsess on something new immediately, otherwise, the pain would be in the forefront of my mind.
If you are a Mac fan, you can relax. I did not purchase the Air. As a matter of fact, I became entranced by the 15.4? MacBook Pro, and I could settle for no other. I couldn?t even tell you how many Gigabytes my Dell was, but I promptly maxed out the RAM to 4 GB. Enamored, with my new Macintosh is an understatement. For those first few weeks, we went everywhere together. I loved it so much, I felt it needed a name. My friend, Evelyn said, ?Why don?t you name him Ted?? I will.
I then named him Theodore OS Pooter.
Thereafter, I became curious about all things Apple. I learned about the history of the company, and who that middle aged cracker (who needs a shave) actually was. I then learned everything I could about said cracker, including, but not limited to, his name,which is Mr. Steven Jobs. I was also, for the first time in my life, completely obsessed with everything that makes my computer. How to fix it, how and why it works, and what I could do with it, was all I thought about. I can honestly say, in three to four months, I have become a mid level expert. I promise, I will be full fledged by MacWorld 2009, which will occur in January, in the city of San Francisco. The Mac truly changed my life, which is what the whole fuss is about. Mac Heads love it for a reason ...and games have nothing to do with it.
So, here we are, approximately 3 1/2 months since my apple fell off the tree. My best friend, Josh, is completely devoted to PC?s (bless his heart, it?s kind of a cute pathetic). He builds PC?s, and he used to maintain mine. That was his argument against me going Mac, he couldn?t help me with it. He still throws a lil stinger about upgrading, overpricing, and limitations (which are all in his mind, btw) here and then, but I don?t care. I love my Mac so much, I wouldn?t talk to my family again, if Steve Jobs said so.
It hasn?t been a completely smooth ride, I will admit. I spend some more time than normal at the Genius Bar inside the Apple store. This is because I have no friends……………….who use a Mac. I?m serious, aside from therapist. Everyone either has a Windows machine or they are named Matt, and they never call. I have had no major disruptions. But I have hit a speed bump here and there.
Three months feels like 3 decades. I have since adopted a daughter, a 2GHz Mac Mini, with 2 GB of RAM. I named her Estelle. After June the 9th, the next formal announcement Apple will give, My Ted is going to live with my friend Brandon, because the goodness of Mac is meant to be shared. My iPhone will go to Allison, to make way for the new one, and yes, a new Mac will become my digital home, in Cyber Space.
My Dell cost me $1200 in 2004, of which I begrudgingly paid. My MacBook cost $2200, and I didn?t even wince. Steve Jobs decides how much money I give him annually, and I?m okay with that. Let me reiterate, people are the ones who broke my heart. I love Apple, and unlike People, I feel like Apple loves me too. Honestly, they could produce a machine of half the quality they do, and get away with it, but they don?t. Every time I have called Apple, I have spoken to someone either in Cupertino or Austin, and I have understood every word. That, itself, is worth the price they ask.
The craziest part of this whole story is I have no idea anymore how to work a windows based unit. Unlike a bike, you do forget. Granted, WindowsXP has become Vista, and if I wanted to, I?m sure I could figure it out lickety split. I originally wanted to write this blog about the differences between the two, but, like remembering how to use windows, I just don?t want to. That would be acknowledging that Mac has an equal competitor, and I?m sorry, I just don?t see it.